osakarob's blog

Very interesting question.

In my case, the primary factor is the absence of members in my city who are members of the site. And if ever there are, they tend to be very absent in the site.

Now some can say I could just travel instead to another city. But it sounds ridiculous for me, a guy who is not trained in wrestling, to spend a fourth of my monthly salary simply to meet with a guy in another city for a play wrestling match. Also, how do I explain to my family members in the city that I'm going to another city JUST for that reason? My job does not give me a convenient excuse to go to another place.

If some of the guys I meet here were much nearer, I would have done a match with them. But that simply isn't the case.

Of course I want that to change. These past few weeks, I've been really itching to have a match. But there are just some things I could not control for now.

Some guys won't acknowledge having wrestled certain guys because they don't want to be known as associating with certain "types," social, demographic, or economic characteristics – yet wanting to engage in wrestling the guy. . So they neither acknowledge nor write a recommendation. Been personally told they they want encores; but don't want others to think they are into old guys, or not prima donna types. They might live in areas (such as Washington, DC) where being known by the "company you keep" is such an obsession.

I have run into guys who need to be very covert due to risk of snoopy wives, employers, stalkers gaining info which could be used against them. They will refuse to write or accept a recommendation.

Also know a couple guys who thing the recommendations are too hyped and seldom reflect reality, and will not write them at all or only if you beg for one.

Then there are real buttholes who take but do not give, thinking anyone whom they are willing wrestle should consider himself lucky to have the opportunity to wrestled the guy.

If you live where there are lots of any of the above cases, your history is going to suffer.

When I first joined here I did not acknowledge any of my past opponents. There are dozens of guys I have wrestled that either don’t have profiles here or won’t acknowledge for what ever reason.

Regardless, opponents don’t equal skill. There are so many forms of wrestling that happen on here. I can meet hundreds of guys and if all I’m doing is jobbing...

I don’t put too much stock in past opponents or even recommendations. It’s all preference.

I agree that the number of past opponents is not indicative of skill. Look at me, I have over 100 past opponents and I would rate myself as barely proficient.

What the number past opponents does say (and the recommendations, too) is that I am real and that I actually wrestle. Personally, I think that is a pretty important especially for new members and travelers because it saves them some time finding someone real who will actually meet up. (It's not a guarantee, of course, but it definitely increases the odds.)

That is so well said. Thank you.

Reckon there are 100ers who got that way via the 'good-sex' route with very little wrestling. These are usually guys who refuse to wrestle you if you are not sexy, not handsome, older, have a wrinkle ---as they don't care the least about one's wrestling skill, wrestling strength, wrestling anything. Usually can tell right off by looking at their pics and they looks as tho they should be on fuksRus dot yuks.

Detective Mask's situation certainly is not uncommon. If there's nobody around nearby, it's hard to justify a trip out-of-town to meet a stranger. And, as he pointed out, how to explain that to family members.

It would seem that while business travel is very often a curse. For wrestling fans it might be a blessing!

If your business travel takes you my way, come take me on. My mats are screaming for more attention :) so am I

I have the exact same problem as you. There is not enough guys in my town to have matches with or I would have had them. The ones that are on this site are quite elusive which is a real pain. They don't commit to anything.

I wish I lived in the US for the wrestling it would be great.

Anyway travel is always an option to the states from Australia.

My last wrestling match was in 2006.My wrestling days are over but I still like to be in the chat room and check out the photos of members

Huh? Your profile does not give that impression, and you have a recommendation from last year. Or am I missing something?

i will second that what your profile says and what you said about your last match was in 2006??? your part of the problem and not part of the solution

I just posted my own blog entry – covering my take on everyone – but especially about giving willing ZERO-opponent guys a break. Some merely need a willing hand reaching out to them.

Someone in the chat room who read this blog post reminded me that sometimes it just takes guys a long, long time to find the right "fit" of opportunity.

He said, "it probably took me a year or better, then one night I was chatting with a guy and wanted to wrestle him bad, so I went for it. I knew then it would either cure my curiousity or I would be hooked for good...here I am!"

So, it would appear that many on this site may indeed just be waiting for the "right conditions" to try things out.

That's one example to talk to these guys, even reach out to them.

This and Detective Mask's explanations are the ones that I can most understand. The initial apprehension of actually meeting up with a stranger is stronger for some than for others. Put it together with geographic isolation and the "O in ... years" is explained.

But the O in 2 or more years for the guys in NYC or other metropolitan areas? They are mostly mystery to me. I say mostly, because there are few of these who also have not logged on in a long time - these guys are probably tire-kickers, i.e., they joined just to check things out and then found other sites/interests to take their time.

i dont have any past opponets, and i am not posting any either, been turned down many times for that same reason, i dont worry about it, if someone forms that kind of opinion before replying to the 1st message, there probably an asshole , and we wouldnt have got along anyhow

I would add that I would hope that guys would be honest enough to post in their profiles what they’re looking for. If they have zero matches and state they want to meet, it’s a bit of a signal. Alternatively, it may be more that they enjoy talking about it, but have no real interest in getting together. To each their own.

Things would be easier for most of us if everyone were honest as to what they want in terms of fighting and the sex thing. We are not mind readers; so we should specify where we lie along the 100% fight only to the 100% sex only axis---and are absolute deal breakers---so we know in advance and waste less time

I appreciate everyone's comments here. They certainly have provided me with a much more nuanced perspective on "0 Opponents" than I had when I originally wrote my thoughts.

Upon reflection, I guess I would agree that the number of opponents (and/or recommendations) isn't indicative of skill. It merely suggests, as NJWoodbridge has said, that a person is willing to meet. Also, having Fig4headscissor admit what I thought might be true - that there are a number of us on this site who may have been active wrestlers in the past but now are satisfied with using Meetfighters as a connection to that previous activity.

As I get older, I can totally see myself probably only meeting once or twice a year with an established wrestling friend who knows and respects my interests - and I'll be less interested in adding to the number of opponents under my belt.

And as others have said in this thread, I've got a large number of former opponents who aren't on this site. So, I shouldn't assume that someone with "0 Opponents in 2 years" is someone with literally 0 opponents. And if those folks aren't actively trying to develop that experience, there may be a number of reasons for that. (Not my business to take their inventory.)

Overall, I love the design of this site so much because for those who are looking for confirmed and active fighters, this is an easy place to find and make connections with a verified record of actually getting together to tumble.

Don't sell yourself short about as you get older. I'm 75 and stronger, more aggro, more kickass than ever in my life. Yet another recommendation arrived today attesting to that – a match only a few days ago. Three times the man I was at age 20. Ageing is more in the mind than the body for some (many?) of us if we make that real, honest effort to work around those real problems attendant with ageing.

agree with that my friend i am more focused on life in general and as you become older i have learned when to stop the crap in life and only cherry pick the good things from a whole bunch of crap we all deal with throughout our lives .
i have always been interested in wrestling man on man win or lose you always win because a lose is an education in the art of the fight game we call wrestling

well i have only been on this sight for a month or so and in that time had an operation so it really has put me back but while i am waiting for my first wrestle bout i check out everybodies profile i think i would like to wrestle or look at how many wrestles they have had and hope to learn more.
i asked a question form a guy who took two weeks to reply and said i would not wrestle you as you do not look my type i replied fine i am glad we can be honest then came the reply put some muscle on and get back to me i just laughed little does he know i was a power lifter in my time and still go to the gym 5 days a week as i work there but even if i defined my body i would not entertain anyone like that for me you can learn from anyone and i have seen older strong yet not defined guys strip a well muscled guy of their dignity many times so i find this site a little judgementle but my attitude is straight gay BI slim stocky who gives a fuck just fight and gain experience , mind you i would love to meet the guy on here one day take him down and wisper in his ear as i sub him just who exactly who i am, lol

OTOH. If a guy signs on, checks out who locally is on line, and sees only the very same guys who have refused all overtures in the past for being too unskilled, too old, not sexually appealing, too or not whatever, it can lead guys either to rarely sign in or be reticent to approach anyone.

Then there are the inveterate liars one has to deal with – had one very experienced guy say he diesn't want to meet because I'm not skilled enough, too heavy, have not wrestled the top guys in the area ONLY TO SEE him take on within a month a guy with almost no experience, 25 pounds heavier than I am, and had not at that time wrestled any of the head honchos in the area. Apparent only difference was sex appeal (younger, taller, handsome in this case) .

We all should be more forthcoming about how much sex enters into the equation; so we don't wast time approaching those who are here only to get their rocks off and could not care less about wrestling/grappling otherwise. Personally, I do not like to associate with inveterate liars in any aspect– of my life – one never knows what else is untrue.

Really interesting discussion thread here fellas. Good to see some members putting some thought into what they type.

agree Aussieboxer it is good to talk wrestle and experience without the bravado

I think there are lots of reasons... most of which you initially brought up... I also feel a large majority are bisexual men who are closeted, keeping it as low key as possible,exclusively cyber or just fantasizing what they dare not act out... just my thoughts on the majority
:)
Gripper Bill

Why do you care how many opponents a person has? This site is for the most part for European guys. We who live in the United States are not in the majority on this website. The other factor is location. I loved in the following cities:Detroit,New York,Philadelphia,Miami,Orlando Los Angeles,Raleigh,and now a small town 70 miles from Nashville. I have a full time job, a partner and a lot of land I need to care for. I own a private wrestling ring. When I was younger I competed in 3 gay games and have a decades long amateur wrestling competitive career. I do not have a lot of wrestling opponents given that I do live in a small town in Tennessee where gay men and gay wrestling just is not done. I also am not going to leave my job and invest my retirement savings travelling to "wrestle." I think a healthy attitude is one of "if and when a match happens, it happens." Obessions are unhealthy. I was training at a striahgt amateur wrestling club until it closed down. For the most part wrestling is not a sport that leave many opportunites for older men, I know I spend the better part of my life making trainging happen. In any event whether a person has a lot of past opponents or not is a measure of nothing worth thinking about, the man and his desire are.

Large number needed as so many guys wrestle so seldom, that if one wants to get in the perfect exercise of wrestling, one has to have a large pool from which to draw. If I had 10 wrestlers I could wrestle every week or two, that would give me enough matches. OTOH, working with more variations of guys is needed–differences in biomechanics, mass, limb lengths, upper/lower limb ratios, etc ---e.g. physically impossible for a couple guys to do a full nelson on me due to my biomechanics Train for such differences for alternatives.

Despite this sites more Eurocentric membership, the USA alone is 40 percent of its membership, and there is no other site as active. I do wish this site's competition were "healthier" as competition makes for better businesses. Be nice if I could find a "wrestlersRus dot yuks" and find a match on demand, as these sites are based too much on sex appeal; and sex appeal is one thing I apparently do not have.

regarding sex appeal, I do not have any either,however for a man your age and fitness level I find you extremely sexy.

Thanks---come take me on if ever over my way. Cheers Spruceman: The kickass Yetiman–Built Tough; Staying Tough; Getting Tougher: Alive to strive at seventy-five"