DADS AND SONS - FATHERS' DAY FIGHT WAGER (Part 1 of 5)

DADS AND SONS – FATHERS’ DAY FIGHT WAGER
Part 1 of 5

It was Fathers’ Day and the community pool in this comfortable suburban neighborhood was packed with families enjoying the holiday.

Mr. Franklin, the elected Pool President, noticed two strangers, a DAD and his SON at the front gate and waddled his out-of-shape frame to greet them. He extended a puffy hand to take the guest pass offered by the DAD, a 61 year old, 6’4”, 270 pound man with a bald head and a thick, bushy, grey-black moustache dramatically waxed to twirl upwards at each end. He was accompanied by his SON, an extremely good-looking teen-aged youth.

Hello, hello, hello, Mr. Franklin gushed. “Welcome, come in, come in, come in and join the party. We have burgers and hot dogs cookin on several grills over there. Help yourselves. Have a dip in our Olympic-size pool. You brought bathing suits I hope. He continued to gush on and on.

The DAD, who had all this while been surveying the crowd while barely acknowledging the presence of the suck-up slobbering in front of him, barked a quick aside to his SON. “GO TO THE MEN’S ROOM AND CHANGE INTO YOUR SWIMSUIT WHILE I FIND US A SPOT TO SIT BY THE POOL.” His SON nodded and proceeded to casually saunter towards the changing room.

Mr. Franklin stopped yammering, unable to take his eyes off the handsome youth. In fact, there were already numerous eyes around the pool area taking in the staggeringly beautiful young stranger with the confident stride.

As Mr. Franklin turned his attention again to the lad’s DAD, the massive man cut off the obvious next question by announcing his name, “BUCK SENIOR! My SON is BUCK JUNIOR and yeah, we’re NEW in this FUCKIN neighborhood.

Mr. Franklin, already cowed by the towering hulk of DAD-MAN, asked timidly, “Are we going to be honored with the presence of MRS. Buck Senior today?

“FUCK NO! I’M HAPPILY DIVORCED FROM THAT CUNT.” BUCK SENIOR’s eyes were still impatiently combing the busy area when his gaze found the object of his search.

At that moment, at the far end of the pool, another massive DAD, this one silver-haired with a military style crew cut, 60 years old, 6’3”, 275 pounder caught sight of BUCK SENIOR eyeballing him. He immediately rose commandingly from his lawn chair and slow-walked the length of the pool strutting his stuff until the two hulking brutes were literally nose to nose, their cavernous nostrils flaring and expelling short blasts of wind.

They were also getting a helluva super-charge staring daggers into each other’s unblinking eyes. Who would blink first?

Mr. Franklin, sensing the dangerous tension, attempted to make a feeble introduction and was immediately cut off. These buff, burly men were the center of the universe and nothing existed outside their fast-increasing hatred of each other. It would take a single spark for the situation to erupt into uncontrolled violence.

Silver-Haired Crew-Cut, Mean-Mutha-Fucker spoke first. “I’m BUTCH SENIOR. I’m the COACH at the school your SON just enrolled in. I’ve been EXPECTIN YOU. YOUR SON’s an athlete. MY SON’s an athlete too. You wanna know if I’ll be favorin MY SON over YOUR SON. THAT THE SIZE OF IT?

Bald–Headed, Mustachioed-Bull-Bastard replied. “Yeah, I’m BUCK SENIOR, just moved into this SHIT-HOLE town, here today to CHECK THINGS OUT, and ta let CERTAIN ASSHOLES know how I want things TA BE RUN AROUND HERE. So, WHERE THE HELL IS your SON? MY SON and I are here ta SIZE UP THE COMPETITION and ta get SHIT SETTLED between us.

BUTCH SENIOR smiled back through gritted teeth. “BUTCH JUNIOR is runnin an errand for me. He’ll be back SOON. Then we can ALL size each other up. And rest assured, SHIT WILL BE SETTLED! You ex-military, BUCKY?”

BUCK SENIOR hissed back. “FUCK YEAH! So are YOU from what I hear tell, BUTCHY.”

BUTCH SENIOR hissed. “DAMN FUCKIN STRAIGHT. So, you bought the old Anderson place off the main road. You’re in charge of runnin a construction site for the new government building goin up.”

BUCK SENIOR grinned. “Looks like we been CHECKIN UP on each other pretty FUCKIN thoroughly.”

BUTCH SENIOR grinned back. “BE PREPARED, I always say. And yeah, I know you were a NAVY SEAL.” He grunted smugly. “FUCKIN ESTHER WILLIAMS WANNA-BE’S”

BUCK SENIOR’s smile grew forcibly broader. “FUCK YOU, ASSHOLE! And you were DELTA FORCE! FUCKIN COCKSUCKIN SISSIES!

To emphasize his contempt, he noisily spurt a long, disgusting wad of spit directly into the swimming pool. “AND FUCK ESTHER WILLIAMS TOO! LET HER SWIM THROUGH THAT!”

BUCK SENIOR and BUTCH SENIOR continued inspecting each other sneeringly, enjoying the enmity between them. BUCK SENIOR’s face was rounder, his nose big and bulbous. BUTCH SENIOR’s face was angular, his nose long, sharp and hawkish looking. They both had cauliflower ears from years of boxing, though BUCK SENIOR’s ears were larger and stuck out more.

BUCK SENIOR stared at the jagged scar running along BUTCH SENIOR’s left cheek, then said sarcastically, “Looks like somebody caught you by SURPRISE, DELTA FIZZLE.”

BUTCH SENIOR responded through gritted teeth. “FUCK YOU, SLIME SEAL PUSSY!! DAMN IF YOU’LL EVER SURPRISE ME!! I’M READY FOR ANYTHING!! AND I’M DEFINITELY READY FOR TODAY!!”

BUCK SENIOR gritted his teeth as well. “YEAH, we’re on the SAME FUCKIN PAGE ABOUT TODAY ALL RIGHT!!

BUTCH SENIOR looked impatiently at the gated entrance. “BUTCH JUNIOR WILL BE HERE ANY MINUTE NOW.” (But he was thinking, “SHIT! WHERE IS THAT FUCKIN KID?”)

At this time, Mr. Franklin began to notice all the families moving away from the pool area to gather at the field where the volleyball net had been set up. He felt the need to rescue a situation that was increasingly growing out of control.

“Uh, gentlemen, the volleyball game is about to begin. Would you uh, uh, uh like to participate?”

The two DADS’ expressions turned downright vicious. Their huge hands began clenching and unclenching, they were so goddamn eager to have a go at each other.

BUTCH SENIOR said, “HELL YEAH. WE’LL PLAY.”

BUCK SENIOR added, “ON OPPOSING SIDES, NATURALLY, DELTA FIZZLE.”

BUTCH SENIOR said, “GOES WITHOUT FUCKIN SAYIN, SEAL SISTER.”

At the field, two teams were already sorted. Everyone was showing increasing signs of nervousness as the two snorting behemoths marched forcefully into their midst. Just as the players were positioned on either side of the net, BUTCH SENIOR and BUCK SENIOR made a big display of removing their t-shirt and tank top respectively.

Both men revealed equally massive barrel chests, broad shoulders and protruding big bellies. Their bellies, despite their enormity, were hard and flab-free. Both men were rock solid specimens. Tats covered their shoulders, back and forearms. BUTCH SENIOR had a large snarling lion’s head tat on his left pec while BUCK SENIOR had long lightning bolt tats on each pec pointing to each of his ample, and obviously chewed-on, nipples. Their multiple tats, no longer fresh, were faded with age. BUCK SENIOR was perhaps hairier over most of his body than BUTCH SENIOR, but both were furry MAN-BEASTS exuding fearlessness.

The two colossal men scooped up dirt to rub into their equally colossal hands wiping the excess on their chests, bellies and backs. They stomped into place directly opposite each other with only the flimsy net between them, licking their lips with anticipation for the whistle to start the game.

The other players consisting of young and old, male and female by now were quaking with fear wondering what was happening to their innocent game of volleyball.

Mr. Franklin groaned as he contemplated the train wreck about to happen. THIS WASN’T THE FATHERS’ DAY HE HAD ENVISIONED AT ALL.